Overwhelming Silence
by stephfarrow94
Summary: Starrk and Ukitake are the only survivors of the Winter War. Starrk doesn't want to be alone, having lost Lilynette as well, so in a split-second decision, he saves Ukitake's life, too. But Arrancar and Shinigami are natural enemies, and Ukitake is still hurting over his own losses. StarrkXUkitake, yaoi
1. Chapter 1

**This was written on my phone while I was in hospital for a few days because I really had nothing better to do. Forgive me for any mistakes I missed as I went over it.**

The devastation that was the fake Karakura Town looked as if a nuclear bomb had been set off in the vicinity. Buildings had been reduced to crumbs, craters littered the ground, there was a fire spreading quickly along the outskirts of the town, and the aroma of death lingered amongst the remnants of what had been the Winter War – quite ironic that the war had been fought by Death Gods.

Through the wreckage, a lone brunet in ripped, bloodied clothing stumbled along, searching for what he knew he would never find; the one person he had in his lonesome life.

Coyote Starrk searched and searched, kicking aside bloodied corpses and digging through rubble, but Lilynette Gingerbuck was nowhere to be seen. The town was silent, not a hint of life anywhere. Not even a clue as to what had happened to Aizen could be found. It was just... _nothing._

Starrk had eventually dragged himself further into what had been one of the sites of his battles, having given up his search. He was going to look for a way out and otherwise continue what would be a solitary existence.

However, a tiny tug of reiatsu pulled the Primero Espada past the ashen, mangled body of the brunet Captain he had fought against and over to that Shinigami's friend, the white-haired male who had absorbed his attacks. Starrk rolled the body over, taking in the sight before him.

There was the tiniest rise and fall of what was left of the Captain's chest, an agonised look on his face as blood dribbled down deathly pale lips, mingling with the sweat that stained the skin and onto the hard cement beneath him. Laboured breaths were only just audible, a horrible, strained wheezing testifying to the male's critical condition.

Without conscious thought as to why he did it, Starrk leant down and pulled the Shinigami into his arms, surprised at how light the male was. Noticing that his actions brought on a more pained expression, he loosened his hold, moving the older male so that he was slung over his shoulder.

Noticing the pink flowered kimono the brunet Captain had originally worn before it was taken off and thrown to the Captain in his arms for safe-keeping, Starrk wondered if he should grab it or not. He could tell that the two Captains were close, so maybe – if this one pulled through – it would be a source of comfort to him.

Starrk grabbed the kimono and tucked it under his arms, nodding to himself; he would keep it for the sake of this Captain.

Despite having no idea of where he was going, Starrk dragged himself through the rest of the carnage, the wounded Captain in his arms. He knew that, from the damage sustained to the fake Karakura Town, there would be no hope for the others – if this Captain had pulled through even without his help, they were both doomed to a lonely life.

Maybe... it wouldn't be so lonely with someone else there to drown out the overwhelming silence of Starrk's life.


	2. Chapter 2

Green orbs opened as pain shot through his body. A strangled scream erupted, choked as blood pooled in the back of the owner's throat. Pale, shaking hands flew to a mangled chest as vicious coughs followed immediately after the scream.

Starrk glanced over from the small fire he had made, looking at the Shinigami that was convulsing on the ground. White hair splattered with blood whipped around, the aggressive force of the wind leaving no strand untouched, a more pained expression on his face than Starrk had seen yet.

In silence, Starrk got to his feet and moved to the Captain's side. He sat beside the Shinigami and reached out, pulling the black kosode they wore down in order to check the bandage he had wrapped around the wound. Blood was spilling out, staining the white fabric, making the black material sticky as well.

Starrk wasn't sure what this Death God's name was. He had only fought briefly against the white-haired male before Wonderweiss had impaled the Captain through the chest, sending him falling to the earth.

The Primero Espada had never been one for socialising, much preferring to spend his days asleep than anything else. He didn't know much first aid, but he did know a small healing kido he had learnt for Lilynette's sake.

Green aura surrounded his hand as Starrk laid it to rest upon the blood-soaked bandage, hoping he would be able to do _something. _It took a few minutes but, at last, the Captain's harsh coughs stopped and his breathing evened out.

"Better?" Starrk questioned monotonously, seeing the way green orbs scanned his face warily. He wasn't surprised the Captain tried to pull away, but he couldn't help but feel hurt over the action; he had gone out of his way to bring comfort to this Shinigami, and all he got in return was distrust.

Getting back up to his feet, Starrk returned to sit by the fire. He ignored the way the Shinigami behind him tried to get to his feet, only to continue collapsing back to the ground, and instead focused on staring at the red flames.

There was pitiful whimpers accompanied by shuffling and breathless grunts as the Shinigami collapsed to the ground again and again, unable to even so much as crawl away. When at last there was silence behind him, Starrk turned around once again. What he saw was the single most pathetic thing he had ever seen.

The Captain was lying on the ground, as still as a corpse, breathless moans that were barely audible escaping his lips. Blood pooled around him, and his body soon started shaking as violently as a seizure.

Starrk couldn't stare at this any longer. Making his way back to the Captain, he pulled him into his arms and dragged him over to the fire. The male's body was ice cold to the touch, and his teeth were starting to chatter.

The Primero Espada was no medic, but he could tell that this Captain was sick. He shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around the slim form, hoping to ease some of the discomfort the cold night was bringing.

The Captain was barely awake for two minutes before his eyes slipped closed and he fell into unconsciousness.

Starrk didn't know what to do; what _could _he do? Should he just leave the Shinigami there? Should he try and warm him up? Change the bandages? What was he supposed to _do?! _He didn't realise it at first, but soon the biggest question on his mind was, _what do I do if he dies?_

With a sigh, Starrk laid down, pulling the Captain to rest against him. He kept his arms to his own body, but he was sure that the other would be close enough to still receive body heat. He hoped that it would be enough – surely if he were a Captain, he'd have to be strong enough to survive this, right?

With a sigh, Starrk closed his own eyes, following the Shinigami into sleep.

_**~~The next morning~~**_

When Starrk awoke, he was relieved to find that the Captain hadn't died through the night and was now curled up in his arms, breathing steadily, only a hint of pain on his face. The Espada sat up, pulling away from the older male, and rubbed his eyes. He didn't usually like getting up so early, but he knew that, unlike Arrancars, Shinigami had to eat, and this one was probably very hungry.

The brunet rubbed his chin as he thought about what he could do for the pale Death God, never having been in this situation before. He got to his feet and wandered away from the other, knowing that he wasn't far from a town. He started walking, hoping he could get there and return with food before the Shinigami awoke.

When Coyote returned what felt like years later, he was surprised to find the Captain curled up by the dying embers of the fire, his face drawn in a large, fearful frown. He sat down and handed over the bag of onigiri he had managed to snag without alerting humans to his presence.

The Shinigami's frown widened and he recoiled, as if he were afraid of the bag coming alive and biting his hand. However, when Starrk remained silent, the bag in front of him, he bit his lip, deciding to take his chances and see what the Arrancar was trying to do.

Opening the bag warily, the Reaper's nostrils filled with the wonderful scent of food, making his stomach rumble. He glanced at the brunet, reaching in slowly, ready to fight at the smallest sign of danger – though he didn't know where his Zanpakuto was, he felt strong enough to Kido the Primero Espada if he needed to.

"What's your name?" Starrk asked, watching the Captain bite into the food.

The Shinigami chewed for a few seconds before he swallowed, answering the other's question. "...Ukitake Jyuushiro..."

Starrk nodded politely. "Coyote Starrk."

The Shinigami – Ukitake – nodded back before he focused his attention on the onigiri once again. He wanted to ask about everything that had happened after the War, but he was too afraid to hear the answers. Starrk didn't seem to take this into consideration as he spoke again, his voice soft.

"We were the only two survivors," the brunet said. He noticed that Ukitake's eyes had a faraway look in them as he dropped his half-eaten onigiri onto his lap. "I don't know what happened to Aizen. The other Shinigami are dead. So are the Espada."

Ukitake slowly lowered his face into his hands. Surely... Surely not... His best friend... his lover... his _everything... He _couldn't be dead...

"...My friend..." Ukitake's voice was strained, his eyes wet as he struggled to fight back tears. His shoulders heaved with the tremendous effort he was putting in to keep himself controlled. "...Shunsui... Is he...?"

Starrk nodded, his face expressionless. He didn't speak, knowing that, after having lost Lilynette, Ukitake was probably in a lot of pain, too. After all; the Captain _had _lost more than just one person; he had lost his fellow Captains and Lieutenants.

Thoughts ran through Ukitake's head, leaving him with no fluent passage; all he knew was that he was alone. He was alone – with the one who had killed Kyōraku Shunsui, his world. He lifted his head, his eyes glazed over with tears he was too proud to allow falling. He blinked, biting on his lip, as he mustered his exhausted energy into a glare.

"You killed Shunsui..." Ukitake's voice was weak, but the bitter tones were still prevalent. "You killed him...!"

The brunet shook his head, not intimidated by the reiatsu that was now flaring, once so powerful, it would have crushed all but a select handful. Now, it was nothing but a mere shadow of its former glory. "I did not. I fell unconscious after one of his attacks."

"Liar!" The force of Ukitake's shout reduced him to a coughing mess. He gripped his chest and moaned between bloody coughs, his anger unable to be calmed; all he could do was blame Starrk for his loss, knowing that if they had not fought him, Shunsui would still be alive. "It's all your fault!"

"Maybe it is," Starrk agreed, his voice soft. "Maybe. But I did not go without suffering loss, too, Ukitake-san. I lost Lilynette, as you have lost the others."

Ukitake fought desperately against his emotions, wanting nothing more than to join his loved ones. He didn't want to be here if he had no one left to love. He dropped his face into his hands again, ashamed at being seen so weak; was it not enough that he had to be looked after because of an illness? Why did the enemy have to see him like this? Why couldn't he had just died with the others?

"...Why did you save me...?" Ukitake didn't sound angry; instead, he sounded defeated, exhausted, just sick of everything. "...Why couldn't you have left me to die...?"

"Because I'm selfish." Starrk wasted no time in replying. "I am afraid of being alone. I did not wish for any of this; I merely wanted the loneliness to cease."

Ukitake laughed, such a depressed sound that Starrk knew there was no humour behind it. "...You _are _selfish... I do not want to be alone, either... But you killed the one I love most... And you spare me because you are afraid..."

Starrk nodded. He knew that the other was in pain, so it was no surprise he was lashing out, needing to blame someone for his losses. The pale Shinigami accused him of being the killer of his loved ones, unable to accept the fact that he would never see them again or say goodbye. He needed an outlet for his emotions.

The Primero Espada honestly didn't mind taking Ukitake's pain; he knew he would need the other by his side, whether the Captain wanted to be there or not. He fingered the pink kimono hidden inside his jacket, wondering if it were time to give it to the older male or not.

Shaking his head, Coyote knew it was too early; Ukitake needed to accept his friend's death and mourn first. He wanted to give the kimono to the Captain as a reminder that, despite having lost someone important, they could still fight the loneliness together, that though the white-haired male may always be in pain, he would still remember the one that was so precious to him.

They wouldn't have to be alone anymore – not as long as they had each other.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day had arrived, and Ukitake was still not well enough to move around by himself, the wound in his chest causing great discomfort. He didn't want to be approached by the Arrancar, still unable to get over his best friend's death. He would yell at Starrk whenever the brunet approached him, telling him to keep his distance, and whenever the Espada disregarded this and came to his side anyway, the Captain would struggle and lash out in his pain-hazed mind.

Starrk couldn't blame the Shinigami; he, too, knew what it was like to lose someone. That was why he never took the elder's attacks personally, knowing that the white-haired male was grieving.

Currently, the two were sitting at the same campsite Starrk had created, waiting for the Arrancar to finish preparing the soup he was trying to cook. As usual, Ukitake was laying a distance away, staring blankly out into the distance, his expression unreadable. Starrk was sure he had locked himself away in memories of the man he had lost to war.

Starrk himself understood; having lost Lilynette was like losing his very soul – and, in a way, he probably had. He didn't know the circumstances surrounding Ukitake's own relationship, but he didn't need to to be able to see how much the sickly male was suffering.

When at last the Primero Espada knew that the soup was ready, he carefully poured it into a bowl he had stolen on his previous trip into town before he brought it over to Shinigami he was trying to take care of.

"I have soup," Starrk said, his tone bored as he sat down beside the – for once – unresisting Captain. "Are you going to eat it?"

Ukitake shook his head, his gaze never leaving the lake visible in the distance. His eyes glinted with tears, reflecting just like the water on the surface of said lake, giving insight to what he was thinking about – the ones who had died.

"Just leave me alone..." The pale Death God's voice was weak, and he sounded so defeated. "...I just... want to die..."

Starrk sighed. He reached out and carefully manoeuvred the older male into a sitting position, resting the frail Captain against the tree. He was surprised that the frail male didn't even so much as raise his voice but, then again, he _was _suffering.

Without another word, Starrk dipped a spoon into the soup before he raised it to pale lips. As expected, the Thirteenth Captain was stubborn, pursing his lips and turning his head away, but Starrk was persistent – possibly for the first time in his life that _didn't _involve a fight. Maybe he_ was _just being selfish and binding someone to a life they didn't want, but he was afraid of the loneliness. He didn't care how the other person felt – he just needed _someone _by his side to rid his life of the silence.

"I need you to eat," Starrk said, moving the spoon back to the other's chapped lips. "Please. At least just this one spoonful."

Ukitake wanted to yell and scream and shout about how much he didn't want to eat, but he knew, at the same time, that if his best friend were here, he would scold him about how silly he was being. He knew that Shunsui would never have let him go down this path, would have kept him alive – just like this Espada was doing.

Closing his eyes, Ukitake opened his mouth, too tired to fight over this. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally; there would be no gain from resisting further.

Starrk was emotionless as he slowly fed the injured Shinigami, trying to be as patient as he could; he couldn't say he was used to doing this, but for whatever reason, it made him feel calm – as if there were hope for a less miserable existence.

Ukitake, however, only felt as if he were pathetic, needing to be handfed - a cruel blow to his prideful nature. A single tear slipped down his cheek as he grit his teeth, trying to understand why he had to suffer so much in his long life. Wasn't it enough that he was as sick as he was? Why was it always _him...?_

Starrk didn't speak, nor did he do anything, when Ukitake started to cry. He just sat there, staring into the soup as he listened to the heartbreaking wails, the calls for Kyōraku to come back. He just wished that there was something he could do for the other.

_**~~One Week Later~~**_

While Ukitake still wasn't back to his full strength, he was now able to move around by himself without the danger of worsening his injury. It had been hard on Starrk as the white-haired Shinigami had attempted to leave several times during the night, only to be stopped by the Arrancar.

The brunet was sure that the Captain had finally given up on that idea because it hadn't happened for a few nights now. He was relieved, worried that something might happen to Ukitake if he were to go off on his own.

While Ukitake was sitting quietly by the fire, Starrk sat beside him, wanting to talk to him about his thoughts.

"I was thinking that we should leave here and try to survive in Karakura Town," the Espada suggested. "It is not sustainable for us to stay here."

Ukitake just shrugged, his voice as quiet as ever. "...I don't care anymore..."

"You have an ally who lives there, do you not?" Starrk scratched his chin lazily, reminiscent of Kyōraku. Ukitake closed his eyes in order to block out the pain as he nodded. "Urahara Kisuke."

"...Yes..."

Starrk knew that there was always the chance Urahara may not have survived the war – _if _he had shown up sometime after both he and Ukitake had fallen unconscious, but it was a start to finding safety.

"Let's go, then." Starrk held his hand out in an attempt to help the other to his feet, and he couldn't help but feel hurt when Ukitake just slapped it away with a scowl, as if his gesture of kindness was mocking.

Ukitake got to his feet by himself, unsteady at first, but refused all help Starrk had offered, as if it was an insult to accept it from the brunet.

Ukitake followed silently behind the Primero Espada, trying to think of what he had left to live for – he had no home, no family, no Shunsui... He might as well just be dead...


End file.
